Church

I went to church tonight. We have Bible classes on Wednesday evenings, so we decided to go. Part of me didn't want to go. I just wanted to stay home. It was hard. I walked in knowing this was the last place I saw my Daddy alive. I saw the spot where we were standing when we said goodbye the day after Christmas and wish he was still standing there. I couldn't sing. I could barely listen to the words. They sound so different and they mean something different to me now. I can't explain right now, but someday I will come up with the words. I don't think I listened to the discussion in class, all I could think about was my Dad. When class was over several of our church family came over to me to give me hugs and their condolences. I don't think I'll remember what anyone said to me, but I know they care. I feel like I can't pray because I don't know what to say to God right now. My heart is so full of sorrow and pain, unlike anything I've ever felt before.