Feelings

I wasn't sure what to title this entry. I'm still not sure this is the right one, but for now I'm going with it. I feel sad. A lot. I feel alone. Most of the time. I feel abandoned. Not necessarily sure why. Not by my Dad, not by God. I just feel abandoned. Feelings. Sometimes I hate these feelings. I don't want to feel sad and alone and abandoned but I do. Sometimes I feel like no one cares, even though I know that's not true. I know people care, I guess it just doesn't seem like it when I'm sitting at home by myself with my thoughts. This is not a pity party for myself. I don't want it to sound like it is. Maybe people are just too busy. I just want to know that someone cares. Anyone. It has been almost 6 months since Daddy died. 6 months. It seems like a long time and at the same time, to me it seems like it was just last week. I know there is no time frame on grief. I just wish these feelings would go away. I feel like I just "get by" each day. I still have no motivation or desire to do much. My house is a mess, laundry constantly piled up and I just don't care. I do have good days, days where I don't cry, though most of the time it seems like I can't get through a day without crying, days where I think I'm doing better, but I also have days filled with sadness and many shed tears and full of the question why?, but no answers.