Meltdown

Today started out ok, then I had more than one meltdown. The first was in the car driving to my Bible Class (see my previous post). Another waved over me later in the afternoon. This one was worse than the first. I could almost feel my heart physically hurting. I cried until I thought I had no tears left, then cried some more. I cried out for my Daddy. I asked God "why?" "Why did you take my Dad? I still needed him. I need an answer from you God. Why?" I know I will probably never get that answer, but I still ask it. I finally calmed down and just sat. I haven't had a breakdown in a while. I've cried, but not like I did today. The pain comes in waves. Is this normal? I've never gone through a grieving process like this before. I've lost several family members, but this just doesn't compare. It usually takes me a few months to get through after losing a loved one, but this time it is totally different. This is my Daddy. I still have a hard time believing he is gone. I just want to pick up the phone and call him. I want to hear his voice again. I miss talking to him for no reason. We never went more than a few days without talking. He would call me in the middle of the day for no reason, just to say hi. I so miss that.